Back to the Beginning

Today, I spent the longest chunk of my day on the back deck, tilted back in a gravity chair, sun hat flopping around my face, iced tea within reach and laptop in front of me.

It was a peaceful way to revisit my early twenties, when I first put together the content of my first book Dear Church: Letters From a Disillusioned Generation.

Zondervan, the publishing company behind the title, has decided to release an updated version (likely with a new title) next May and for me, that meant taking a good long look at where I’ve been and what I can add based on who I’ve become since then.

Rewrites are a delicate balancing act.

The original manuscript of Dear Church is angst driven, vulnerable and in some places, marked by what seems like glaring immaturity in retrospect.

So of course my temptation is to go back and revise and add information in a way that polishes my previous weaknesses and injects 35 year old Sarah’s perspective over top of her younger self. (I’ll probably want to rewrite it again when I’m 50.)

But in most cases, I resisted that urge.

What made Dear Church successful as a book was its ability to join a reader in the highest point of their disillusionment, when they could most easily relate to my occasionally cynical commentary as I sort through my disappointments with organized religion. It was that mutual understanding that allowed them to see me as a relateable voice when the book moved to talking about moving beyond disillusionment as well.  And to strip that emotion or frustration away, even if to present a more polished version of myself, would subtract the real heaviness that makes it ring true to disaffected readers.

So instead, here’s what’s happening with the new edition:

• I’m broadening the focus of the book so it no longer drills in on disillusionment as a “young person”l issue, but rather treats it as a multi-generational one.
• I’m adding material–a few stories and metaphors–that grew out of the speaking engagements at conferences and churches that followed the release of Dear Church.
• I’m adding a bonus resource section for church and denominational leaders and/or parents and other mentors of those disillusioned with faith. This is based largely on my experiences interacting with people, churches and denominations about this topic since the book came out.

And we’re right now thinking about how to rework the title to best match the language and needs of those searching for resources on disillusionment, as well as choosing some new images that might capture the state of the ideal reader–someone who maybe wants to leave the church, but at the same time doesn’t want to leave the church.

Most of the time, I don’t want to revisit years past. The more I grow as a person, the more satisfying my life becomes, so the drama of youthfulness becomes less and less enticing. But I have to admit, it’s been nice to take a trip or two down memory lane lately–to engage some old friends and old projects and to remember that no matter what age we are now, we always have to thank the younger versions of ourselves (however angst-filled!) for their investment in making us who we are today.

This is the last deadline for a book for adults I have on my radar before I’ll be transitioning to writing on what I hope is a whole new topic, which aligns even more closely with some of the values driving this blog, what lies on the other side of disillusionment for me.

I hope you’ll follow along. I’m hoping the best is yet to come.