Right after this resolution I uncover a squishy, plastic microphone that squeaks. This is emphatically not part of the stupid category, since my dog Wrigley’s lip synching just wouldn’t be the same without it. After that comes a half-destroyed tennis ball, a mangled rope, and a supposedly “life-like” squirrel developed to train hunting dogs, which Wrigley lugs around happily as if it his mascot.

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