Gut Checks and "Late" Night Phone Calls

My dad called me and woke me up. At 10:30 at night.


This is a bad sign. When your bedtime is passing out five minutes after your seven month old and your dad is up later than you.


Gets better. When the phone rang, I thought it was morning.


And I was hoping it was the phone-tree. Calling to tell me we have a snow day.


I checked my caller ID.


My parents? This early in the morning? (Or 10:30 at night, for those tracking on normal people, non-baby time.) Something must be wrong.


A list of disasters rolls through my head. Bad news. I can feel it. I answer quickly hoping reality is better than the things I can imagine.


It is.


My dad and grandpa were in a car accident coming home from Columbus, Ohio in the wintery conditions. They swerved three times. Spun into the concrete barrier. ON THE FREEWAY.


He said had there been other cars to smash into it could’ve killed them.


I breathe a sigh of relief and think to myself, as I feel like I do on a daily basis, that life is precious. Fleeting. A vapor in the wind.


I’ve always been one to notice this (maybe it was all those funerals my dad was always conducting), but I notice it more the older I get. Ya know?


The call could’ve been about anybody. A good reason to check your heart. To make sure things are right between you and those you love.


I understand death is a part of life. But that doesn’t mean I’m prepared to lose some people right now. Sadly, on my most honest days, there are some people I have unfinished business with. Unfinished business of the heart, that is.


I don’t want to lose anyone; I don’t want to be lost. But one thing is for sure, if the choice ever gets taken out of my hand, I don’t want to have any love lost between us.


I love you, people.