Women Talk Women with Rebekah Lyons

Women On Women

Women Talk Women is a tellingly-fun series where women talk openly and honestly about the goodness and stickiness surrounding befriending other women. So far the series has highlighted author and activist Shayne Moore, super bloggers Sarah Bessey and Lisa-Jo Baker and most recently, author and Huffington post contributor Lillian Daniel.

They joined a long roster of Round 1 interviewees including Ann Voskamp, Rachel Held Evans, Lauren Chandler, Sarah Markley, Kem Meyer, Lindsey Nobles, Jenni Catron, Heather Whittaker, Jena Nardella and LeeAnna Tankersley. (Go here to scroll through them all.)

Today, I present to you the beautiful Rebekah Lyons, author of Freefall to Fly and mother of three cherished short ones.

Sarah: Rebekah! Thanks for participating in this series. I’m happy to have you. So tell me. How do relationships work for you? For instance, do friendships with women or men come easier? 

Rebekah: Women. Especially when we share the same tensions of being faithful to our multiple roles! Of course, there’s always been moments over the years, where we all want to hold our secrets tight. But when we meet with frequency, time yields someone leading with honesty that paves the way for the rest of us to join in. These moments are therapy to me, where I come home refueled to give more.

That said, I’ve been blessed with some amazing guy friends over the years, dating back to college days. Friendships rooted in a snarky sense of humor, and common vantage point toward what God is doing in this world. I’m often inspired by men that have a general sense of “going for it”, no matter what questions lie ahead.

Sarah: Love your answer. There’s a place for both, ay? So my guess is you’ve also experienced this next phenomena too.  Ever run into another woman who acted well,  “catty,” toward you? And what do you do with that stickiness? Ignore? Confront? What?

Rebekah: This happened more in my twenties. I’m sure I deserved it, and certainly handed it back. Life felt figured out then, so I made sure to “help” others that might need my insight. A decade later, I’m super comfortable with the not-knowing and not-having-it-all-together. When I began to understood how to give myself grace, it came more easily toward others.

Sarah: So that maybe flows into another related issue. Do you struggle with jealousy of other women? And if so, what do you do with those kinds of feelings?

Rebekah: Geesh! I suppose I do at times. But it doesn’t feel like jealousy, it usually manifests in me losing confidence in my own voice. When writers hit their stride, you can’t deny their voice. It’s unique and super specific to them. I can appreciate and celebrate that in them. I’ll never be as funny as Jen Hatmaker, or as poetic as Ann Voskamp. But the greatest lesson I’ve learned since writing Freefall is you must “OWN YOUR VOICE.” Don’t change it, tweak it, or adjust it to be more like someone else. In fact, when I was deep in the weeds of writing the manuscript, I didn’t read anything on social media because I didn’t want to be distracted from the words God was birthing in my heart.

God is so creative, He’s given each of us such beautiful and unique gifts. When we stop looking to the right or the left, and fix our eyes on Him, He gives us such bold clarity we will never find elsewhere.

In turn, we begin to lift up each others arms and celebrate the very specific uniqueness that we each possess. I have a vision where our generation of women do exactly that. Where the cattiness and jealousy fades, because there is enough creativity in this world for every individual daughter of the King to shine.

Sarah: That is such a good answer. I hope people print that out and put it on the wall. Okay, that makes me want to see what you’ll say here. Who is one notable woman you respect? And also, how about this–who is one not as well-known woman who has contributed to you as well?

Rebekah: It feels cliché at this point, but Brene Brown expanded my world a couple years ago. Her challenge to vulnerability gave me permission to embrace the “over-sharer” that I’ve always been. I often hear that reading Freefall likens to reading my diary, but I can’t imagine writing any other way.

Trina McNeilly of La La Lovely Things is not as under-the-radar as she used to be, considering she was featured in the New York Times today! But she’s been a dear friend for 15 years that lives in the suburbs of Chicago. We just got off the phone from an hour chat, and the thing I cherish most about her is her utter humility and soft, subtle approach. She’s a brilliant talent with a keen awareness that our strengths are not our own, but a gift from our Creator, that we are called to steward well…in His strength.

Sarah: Okay this leads me to my last wonder. You homeschool three children. How in the world do you write?