The Best Place to Make Friends Is Right Where You Are

The Best Place to Make Friends Is Right Where You Are

Despite the shiny lure of a good party, restaurant or other trendy go-to hotspot, almost all great relationships don’t get launched in the “social scene”.

Sure, maybe we sometimes first run across people at mixers and gatherings, but the punchbowl is rarely where lasting friendships are forged.

No. Friendship usually starts small. A friendly hello, an exchange of pleasantries. A familiar, ordinary pattern of seeing someone and gradually getting to know each other. A leap in intentionality in purposefully extending ourselves to be more friendly.

Think about your own life and friendships.

What has been the best place to make friends so far?

There was probably some initial conversation that started things. Some reason that put you and your now-friend in the same context, some shared interest that gave you incentive to small talk or swap stories for the first time.

That first conversation with that woman who works in your office, that guy at the gym, that fellow mom at your kids’ gymnastics class, that person you run into at whatever church functions you frequent.

Then that one conversation grew into two conversation, three, four…somewhere along the way–when was it exactly?–you started feeling familiar, known, friendly.

The interactions became natural enough that eventually you fell into doing things together. You were both going to the art festival this weekend so you went together. Or you found out you both love a good action movie so you started buying tickets for the same show. Or your kids were so close in age that you started joining each other at the park.

There are always exceptions, but most friendships don’t start loud, dancing the night away, lampshade on your head and cup flowing over.

They start ordinary.

And the great thing about that is, it means you don’t have to wait for or rely on parties to strengthen your support system. The best opportunities to make and deepen friendships are right in front of you every day.

The best place to make friends, it turns out, may be right where you are.

What have you found about making friends? Where have the best ones started for you? Tell me about one.