Sarah Markley Talks Women

Over the past month or two, I’ve been dipping into the wisdom of some razor sharp women. Next in line is the insightful and reflective Sarah Markley, who blogs at the Best Days of My Life.

While Sarah and I tweet to each other and have some beautiful mutual friends, I haven’t yet indulged in her in person self. But she is one of those people on my “make a point to meet” list. And when you read her answers below, you’ll see why.

Sarah: Do you–in all your accomplishments–ever find jealousy or competitiveness sneaking in? How do you stabilize your thinking so you don’t act on these kinds of competitive thoughts?

Sarah Markley: I don’t really feel like I have that many “accomplishments”. That said, it’s very easy for me to begin looking at other women and feel left out or passed by for things.The way I get around that …and the jealousy creeps in more than I want to admit… is by focusing on what I have around me that is important: my children, my husband, the immediate circle of friends and people around me. The more I look at the story that I am living, the less I worry about the one I’m not living, or think I should be living.

Sarah: Really interesting. In some ways, it really is about managing the mind, don’t you think? The faith arena sometimes seems to run shorter on female leaders than males. Who is a great female leader or writer that you look up to/read? And what grabs you about them?

Sarah Markley: I’ve loved Madeline L’Engle. She’s a poet, a writer and she seems to be able to be a Christian without being overly weird or pushy. I love how she integrates faith into real life rather and because of that, seems like a real woman rather than someone on a pedestal.

Sarah: So that’s an unknown woman you’ve come to admire. But can you also tell me about a time a woman you know reached out to you that helped you believe in the good potential of women-to-women friendships?

Sarah Markley: I grew up with female-to-female friendship being a very difficult thing. I never had that “one best friend” and to be honest, good female friendship was not modeled for me well. And when you add to all of that the fact that my personality blends better at times with men than women, I ended up with male friends through high school and college.

After a period of spiritual wandering, I knew that I needed to make good relationships with women in ways that I never had before. I found a really good girl friend, established a great friendship and from that, really learned how to be a friend to a girl. Since then God has really given me some amazing women in my life. In the last 2 years I’ve met more quality women than I have in the last 36 combined.

Sarah: That’s so refreshing how you forged friendships with women even when it didn’t necessarily come natural to you. I think we can all be inspired by that kind of intentionality. Do you have any other “guidelines” or “insights” that come to mind on this subject?

Sarah Markley: I’m not a very competitive person by nature. I’m really okay if I lose to another person. But sometimes I feel like I compete against myself. In essence, I don’t’ give myself a lot of grace to fail and I hold myself to high standards. It’s a terrible thing because it translates into life in many ways: I have trouble saying “no”, if I can’t be really great at something I tend to give up and I disappoint myself a lot.

[[Note from Sarah: If you enjoyed this interview, you might want to check out the others in this series. Check out other interviews with blogger Kem Meyer, leader Lauren Chandler, leader and blogger Jenni Catron, author Leeana Tankersley, New York Times Best Selling Author Ann Voskamp, non-profit leader Jena Nardella , blogger Heather Whittaker and author Rachel Held Evans.]]