How To Get To Know People No. 6: How To Be A Good Host
How To Get To Know People: Welcome Them As Guests
Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of crashing in the guest room of friend and author, Margot Starbuck.
As you can imagine, it is no difficult thing for me to become smitten with the zany and insightful writer behind titles like Small Things With Great Love: Adventures in Loving Your Neighbor.
But I couldn’t help falling for the woman’s heart-felt genius even a little bit more when I was actually sitting at her huge wooden dining room table indulging in her children’s stash of Cocoa Puffs. For her next trick, she may just want to give Miss Manners and Martha Stewart the boot and pen a field manual on how to be a good host.
Not only were the Cocoa Puffs in ready supply, but beyond that, Margot made the beautiful offer, almost insistence, to pick me up the beverage of my choice (Chai – what else is there?) on the way back from dropping her son at school.
And then, to top things off, when she shows me to my guest room–a little suite with a computer and bathroom off their dining room at the time, I find Margot’s intentionality toward guests has no end.
There sits a basket which, in it’s seemingly black hole-like properties, has one of everything I could ever need or want. Fruit, water bottles, fruit snacks, shampoos, extra tooth brushes.
Needless to say, even in my beyond pregnant at the time state, I could not have slept more soundly in her good hands. The woman has natural born instincts on how to be a good host.
What about you? What have people done for you or what do you do for your guests to roll out the red carpet and create an extra hospitable welcome?
I haven’t put together my guest basket yet (though I plan to), but we’ve tried to be intentional to make room for guests. We drywalled an extra storage room to make room for one more bed, placed clean towels and washcloths in a decorative basket in the guest bath, lined a downstairs cupboard with extra blankets and pillows and stocked up on decaf coffee and diet coke, even though we don’t drink them. We also have extra towels and lifejackets on hand for summer trips to Michigan’s lakes.
Tell me, what other ideas have you come across that show how much you value the people who stay in your house? What’s your plan for how to be a good host? Leave a comment and I’ll randomly select one of you on Friday and send you Margot’s book. =)
Freddie August 14, 2012 (3:14 pm)
This is great, I have always been interested in improving this area. We have guests coming in a couple weeks. So, we’ll make sure the guest room is decluttered (it doubles as my office and another playroom). I always make sure there is space in the closet for them to hang clothes. That a reading lamp is available, and a stable near the bed. Also that outlets are accessible. This is the worst at a hotel! Guest towels, extra blankets handy like you said. Snacks, easy to grab foods in case they need to be on the go. Something to eat with coffee, tea or coke for those late night or afternoon chats, and meals planned if we eat in. Otherwise suggestions ready if they want to eat out. I need to work on the gift basket idea!
Joanna August 14, 2012 (8:13 pm)
Making sure the outlets are easy to access is such a simple idea but very helpful. It can be really annoying having to reach in awkwardly behind furniture or to have to plug your gadgets in elsewhere (where you’re likely to forget them) because you can’t reach the ones in your room.
Joanna August 14, 2012 (8:05 pm)
In my household I think the thing that has been most important when it comes to how we do hospitality is not so much specific actions but a shared, agreed upon attitude among everyone who lives here. I live in a fairly unconventional household- it is made up of five Christian guys and girls between the age of 19 and 27, most of whom moved to the city for work or study. Between us we have a lot of friends who visit and there is fairly often friends who need to stay the night. One of the things we agreed on when our little community got started and have continued to reaffirm was that hospitality is important and guests are welcome. We don’t have heaps of spare space so guests staying over usually end up on the couch but my housemates have been really patient in dealing with the inconveniences that sometimes come with extra people sharing their space or with ending up with more guests than expected. It is really cool to see how various household members make the effort to be friendly to guests and make sure they are as comfortable as possible, even if they were a guest that they don’t know well who was invited by another member of the household.
Beth Lewis August 15, 2012 (11:51 am)
Since I’m a publisher, it won’t surprise you to know that we make sure there is an assortment of books and magazines to read in our guestrooms. Some fiction, some local interest/tourism, some devotional, etc. And, a stack of maps, brochures on things to do in the area, etc.
Sarah August 15, 2012 (12:58 pm)
Ooooh, Freddie, Joanna and Beth – why am I not surprised the three of you have good ideas in this department? I’m making some changes to my guest quarters as we speak.
Rebecca August 16, 2012 (10:41 pm)
Always keep clean sheets on the sofa bed or guest room so the people coming to stay don’t feel like they are putting you out especially if it’s an unexpected stay. Also, keep a stock of extra toothbrushes (this was something my mom always had) because nothing says I value you as a person better than allowing a person to freshen up and feel good about themselves. Never let a guest who has been with you for more than 3 days go home with dirty laundry. If you are washingclothes, do theirs, too.
Jeff Wright August 17, 2012 (10:33 am)
First, I should mention that since I met Margot she has had an amazing way of disarming people and welcoming them and being a hostess, at least since I’ve known her. I remember in college when I would visit the dorm that she was an RA in, that when she had office hours it would always have consistent stream of people coming through and hanging out as she played hostess.
My mother is an amazing hostess and catalogs her guests likes/dislikes. Return visits were always likely to feature one of your favorites from the previous visit, custom made for you. Breakfast was always an important time and she would make sure that she was up and manning the griddle for when guests woke up or had some sort of baked deliciousness ready to be cut into. As people walked into the kitchen she was like your local barista and would be handing people their coffee doctored the way they liked it as they came to the kitchen and maybe handing them their favorite section of the newspaper.