How to Small Talk Your Way Into a Hidden Danger

Hey there!

Jovial wave. Head nod. Half-smile. Side-hug. Shoulder-pat.

It’s easy enough to schmooze people. To drop a first name in our best buddy-old-pal voice and slide into a go-to topic that intentionally keeps conversation in the shallow end.

Weather.
<Insert sports team.>
Maybe a current event.

We’re not shooting for meaningful connection or trying to create a sense of mutual belonging.

We’re trying to bypass those who get in the way of our to do list, to give just enough relational juice to steamroll past small talk and get the errands done.

We’re genuinely busy people, some of whom can’t even pause to read blog posts without rehearsing to do lists in our heads.

But when we pretend we care more than we do, we cheapen the process of human communication.

These on-the-fly interactions still make us feel like we’ve got a pile of acquaintances behind us, thus appearing to affirm our likeability.

The daily dose of schmoozing reassures the internal voice that worries we we’re not doing enough to experience real friendship.

But we might take care.

The second we accept counterfeit exchanges as real bondedness, we’ve given up something more valuable than the time or tasks we were guarding.