Praying: Step One, Use a Radio Voice

“I found that the most successful prayers followed a basic recipe. Step one: use a radio voice as if you are announcing a beauty pageant. Two: quote at least one Scripture, making sure to remind God of the reference–in case he wants to look it up later. And three: use a minimum of four flourishing ‘Heavenly Fathers,’ preferably pronounced with a mock Boston accent, so that it comes out sounding like ‘Heavenly Fahhh-dahhh’.” –Picking Dandelions