The Emperor’s Reign – Year 2 Update

• A couple weeks ago I taught the Emperor the Sunday School version of “If You’re Happy and You Know It…Say Amen”. He now–at random moments–shakes his fist in the air, shouting “Amen!”, as if there is a movement of followers who depend on him for regular inspiration.
• When he did it in the grocery store and no one responded, he was shocked his power was so limited outside the kingdom.
• But at least he’s happy. (And you know it.)
• When he brings an adult the remote and says “Bot,” you–the servant–must quickly launch an episode of the Fresh Beats. Bot=Fresh Beats. This is more important than you know, babysitters.
• If he says “cheese,” you are to provide some sort of snack. Immediately. “Cheese” is his universal word for food. It applies to, yes, cheese but is also synonymous for crackers, grapes and pancakes.
• The only other food word he has is “fishy”, which in this case denotes goldfish. And please do not think one will suffice. Emperors enjoy cheddar seafood as an entree.
• Just this week, he learned the word “mine”. Since this revelation, we have yet to discover anything that is not “his”. Greedy little capitalist.
• One word orders are his favorite, mainly because his vocabulary consists of 40 one-word phrases.
• He does have three sentences that I’m aware of: “Where’s the ball?” “No dog!” and “Bye, dad.”
• He cries whenever I leave but just yells “bye!” whenever dad walks out the door. It hurts Chuck’s psyche a little, but I think it proves the Emperor knows the hand that provides his cheddar seafood entree.
• He has learned to go into his royal chamber (i.e. room) and close the door.
• Fortunately for us (or not), the terror of being separated from us (he can’t turn the door knob) promptly sends him into hysterics.